It’s been 4 years since I stopped offering one-on-one coaching services, helping high-achieving women create more enjoyable work lives. I was thinking about some of my clients today:
S, who had no clue what to do next, then left academia for real estate
C, who learned how to effectively say No at work… then heated up her sex life
A, the entrepreneur who increased her business income
S who literally brought her vision board to life, complete with a new home office
Such badasses. I adored working with them. 💕
A simple self-coaching framework
The simple framework we used is one that I still use myself:
- What sucks the most?
- What’s the most painful thought, belief, story you’re telling yourself about this situation?
- Question the thought. (Byron Katie’s Work is A+ for this, at least for us intellectual types.)
- Given whatever you’ve learned, what’s your next baby step? What feels right and doable today?
That’s most of life coaching, more or less! Allow your emotions (this is the one that’s hardest for me.) Loosen up your attachment to the thoughts causing those feelings. And then, the action flows almost effortlessly. No one (certainly not a coach) has to tell you what to do: you just know.
The right next step when you don’t know your next step
If you know what “sucks the most” in your life, but you’re not sure what to do, start by noticing what thoughts you’re having. An empty notebook can help, or a voice-to-text app like Wispr Flow, or Byron Katie’s Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.
You’ll know you’ve landed on something powerful when reading it feels unpleasant (from mild tension to unbearable) in your body.
PC: Kimberly Dovi (my first Coach Kubicek portrait!)