I’ve written before about the impact a negative mindset has on our results.
Once you begin consistently noticing your mindset, you realize that you are not your thoughts. You’re an observer of those thoughts. This is a powerful distinction, because it lets The Real You take control of your life.
You are not your thoughts.
It’s easy to lose this wisdom in the moment, though. Here are 3 fun ways to keep The Real You in the driver seat so you can get results.
Repeat your thoughts
Try this simple and surprisingly effective practice from the field of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
When you notice a stressful thought, repeat it in your head or aloud 3 times. Then, add “I’m having the thought…” to the beginning, and recite it 3 times. Finally, begin your thought with “I notice I’m having the thought…” and recite this full phrase 3 times.
I double-triple-dog dare you to do all 9! Then send me an email to let me know what you noticed.
Name your fear factory
A negative mindset is always fear-based. Name the aspect of you that’s churning out fearful stories so you can mentally distinguish it—it’s not You, but one part of you.
Get real silly and visualize this character.
I call mine Lizardo. He’s so terrified of what people will think of us if we do something different. I imagine being in the driver’s seat of a car, and he’s a little 10 inch tall green lizard-ish creature in the backseat, standing on his hind legs. When he gets riled up, I toss him some potato chips and let him know, “You can totes hang out, but I’m driving.”
What name will you give the fear-driven part of your mind?
What does this character look like?
“Every person’s fears are unique, but the themes of lack and attack are drearily repetitive.”Martha Beck, author, life coach
Judge people on paper
Another way to notice limiting beliefs for what they truly are is to get them on paper. Try using your everyday experiences with the Judge Your Neighbor practice developed by Byron Katie.
We’re taught from a very young age not to judge people, at least not openly. To me, it’s a bit like pooping. I really don’t like to talk about it, I pretend I’m not doing it, and yet, I’m human. I poop!
And just like every other human, I judge other humans.
Ultimately, doing your own inner work will lead to less judgement. But there’s no shortcut. The key is to acknowledge your judgements (to yourself, without shame) instead of pretending they aren’t there.
Any time you are irritated or upset with someone, fill out a Judge-Your-Neighbor worksheet. You can read more about this process at thework.com. When you’re first learning this practice, judge other people rather than yourself. It’ll be more fruitful. Besides, you’ll find that the things that annoy you about others and the things that bother you about yourself are one and the same.
Overcome any negative mindset
These DIY techniques work great for the subtly-upsetting thoughts that spring up—the stuff we know isn’t true but keep thinking anyway. (For me: I’m a bad wife! He shouldn’t have done that! I’m not working fast enough!)
But what about the deep belief systems we’ve clung to since childhood? This is where partnering with an exceptional, professionally-trained life coach can dramatically change your life. When you’re ready, I’m here.